even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
It's official drugs can't kill me
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
