One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
