I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
