His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I just found puke in my bra..
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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