you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
