I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
