I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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