You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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