So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
