You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
