There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize