She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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