I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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