I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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