Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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