well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
