Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
