Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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