She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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