Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
