I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
