oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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