You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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