Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
my being single is dangerous.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
you made out with another girl for some wings
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
