I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
