I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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