So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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