That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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