dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
My breasts were aching with rage.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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