So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
