sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
