apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
