i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
