ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
