I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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