Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
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