A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
OPIZZABONMYDICK
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I pour the whiskey from now on
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
