Im at strip club and am horny
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
