I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
