saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
