K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
