We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
