He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
