I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
