please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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