I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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