Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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