cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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