you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
You were trust falling into bushes
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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