if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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