You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
