Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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