At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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