What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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