I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize