we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
