Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
