I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
she pinky promised me she was 18
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
