My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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