Small penises have feelings too.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
