i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
and you said cock pushups were impossible
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
